What Not to Wear

It’s only a matter of time until Sennerin Style takes the world by storm. Here’s everything you need to make your summer sizzle with fashion-forward flair:

Rubber boots
Shown, imported from the exotic high-fashion climes of Lone Pine, California where horses rule. Am most pleased with surprise heel tab function, allowing hands-free removal of manure-caked footwear. Have nearly perfected the toe-to-heel double exit manoeuvre.

Blue overalls
From the classic collection of Lagerhaus. In a cheeky twist on the Henry Ford school of pigmentation, they’re available in any colour as long as it’s cornflower blue. Exclusive to Austria (probably wouldn’t travel well anyway).

Walking stick
The height of strolling elegance, representing a timeless blend of style and function. One local farmer claims the cows feel the full weight of the stick. I wonder. Today one cow stuck its horn up the rear end of another and the stickee didn’t even flinch. Bless her, I think she might have even backed up a few inches.

Hat
Audrey Hepburn meets Romi Schneider, yes?

Knee pad
If udders were on the top of cows’ heads, the world would be a different place.